How I live with my Authoritarian Parents

Are you sooo fed up with them that whenever you ask permission to go out and hang out with your friends and all they answer is a big bloody NO?!

I have authoritarian parents and by that i mean I'm living with straight up strict parents that show over-protective concern to their child. And they don't even care what I truly feel.

Well, if anyone of you does not have an authoritarian parents, you are so lucky and love them even more! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my parents and i accept the way they are. But the thing is, I am so tired of being like a "prisoner" in the house. This is why I hate summer break. I know, you would be like, "you're insane. I love summer break!". Yes, I may be insane and a simpleton. But who wouldn't lose their sanity when you can't get out of the house?! I cannot get out with my friends. Ever. Everrr. Not even once. I mean I wouldn't mind it if I'm not the ONLY child.... I think this also affects my emotions. I sometimes suffer from anxiety and depression. I also have feelings about doing self mutilation but I am trying to control myself. Of course, they know nothing about this. I mean come on! Im eighteen for Christ sake. They still treat me like im seven years old.

One charcteristics of them that I think is ridiculous and hypocrite is that they won't allow me to hang out with coed friends! Like seriously?! They only like me hanging out with girls. However, who does not have some guy friends?! My parents are straight up closed minded that they think that I'll be in danger if there will be guys included. Like seriously? By the way, my chosen friends are great! I don't hang out with bad people. We don't do some antisocial activities such as drugs or something. I just don't get them!

Now, during senior year, they WANTED me to go to PROM! -.- wow. Doesn't that have a bunch of guys? I guess not.

(I chose not to go just because I already knew what would happen there. Let alone I went to a ghetto high school. Lol)

Now, authoritarian parents are great for discipline. They definitely builds a great foundation of the child with great morality and values. If you want to know more about three types of parenting, look those up online and maybe share what kind of parents you have. :)

So, how do I deal when they say no? I simply go to my room and cry. Let everything out. And eat. Maybe not eat. It depends. It is tiring; i tell you that. 

How Friendship Turned Into Sham...

Have you ever felt like you just found your best friend(s) the first time you have met them? I did. I thought that this certain person was the one. We had so many common things such as interests, ad the fact that this person was jolly and fun to hang out with. Also, when combined with my personality, we can get crazy!

.......Well, I have learned the hard way. Happiness does not last long especially when your so-called friends turn their back on you or completely change their attitude towards you...I just don't get it! Why would they waste their friendship especially when you know you never did anything wrong that made them act that way.

Most of these kinds usually exploits yourself and really does not care a whole lot on you. The looks can be deceiving and their mask on their true colors are sewn really well. HOWEVER, as time goes, it gets worn out, and i feel like that's the time you see their inner selves. It's SAD!

Anyway, if you experience the same thing, do not worry since you can totally find your TRUE friends...time will tell! Trust me. You may not find your true friends in middle school, or high school, but I personally learned that you have a better chance to find your true friends in college. :) 

GOOD LUCK!

When I went to take a placement test at my future college...

Hi everyone! Now, I'm going to talk about how I went to check this college out that I'm about to go in this next school year and pay some fees and taking the placement exam for CUNY (I'm a senior in high school by the way). And oh my goodness!, if YOU have an anxiety like mine with a great pessimistic imagination, it is just ridiculous! It was very daunting for me, and the fact that I am going to college soon! >.<

So anyway, before all the commotions happened, I've gone frantic and I kept on bothering people(my friends) who currently go there right and they kept telling me to calm down and...sigh*... my anxiety conquered me. The exam schedule was at 12pm but I woke up unsually at 6am. I was a scared-y bunny and had no courage at all to go. I was afraid to get lost and no one would help me there >.< Luckily, I was able to get over with it :)

But, I'll tell you, i looked like a little girl who was lost in a creepy mansion! (BTW, the college was huge and bright as well as the people were nice!) So then I went to the Bursar's office and paid my commitment fee and to the admission room for my immunization record, right. It went good.

So onto the TESTING ROOM.

I..........got.............l...o....s.....t.

I did ask one lady and a custodian. They all told me to just take the elevator to 2nd floor and they said I will just find it. So I followed their directions. I went to the 2nd floor and I past this little waiting room(or a cafeteria?) and....  suddenly, I was surrounded by dental and radiology rooms and whatever....I don't know how I got there but it was not the room that I was hoping to find.

 SO before my embarrassment fills up, I found this lonely door that says "testing room this way"....silly me. So I took it. And for ALL the students who are taking Math 3, you have to review ALL the math subjects you took, including LOG functions >.< (I'm specifying this because I feel like if I didn't take the time to answer it correctly, the test would stop since it was like my first challenging question.)

Overall, this experience was amazing! I feel like I've overcame my fears and I was able to come out of my tiny shell, though I'm a bunny!:D It totally helped me to be more confident with myself.

This is your bunny, signing out! ♥♥